A Blog Break Update

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Hello friends. 

It’s been a month since I wrote here last and told you I’m taking a break from blog writing. Now I’m here to tell you it’s going to be a month more.

Despite the covid-19 situation, I’d like to say I’m doing better than I was in February. Yes, I’m still looking for a job (although the current situation isn’t really in my favor) and I’m sad to tell that my grandmother passed away last week which has been a surprisingly emotional thing for me to process.

In February, I wrote a little over 5,000 words. In March, the total word count was 9,700. So, one can see some improvement, some writing recovery happening there. I even participated in a writing competition! But most importantly: lately, I’ve been finding that joy in writing again that I feel like has been lost for many months now. You know, the true, exhilarating happiness over writing something that gives you joy?

And finding that joy feels so precious and something so delicate, that I really wish to hold on to it with gentle hands covered with silk gloves. I wish not to distract myself from that precious feeling, and that is why I’m taking another month’s break from the blog. 

But I hope to be back in May. I really do hope that, and hopefully things will be even better then than they are now.

A lot of hope, I know. But it’s something we need during these months of self-isolation or mandatory quarantine, depending on where you live.

Keep safe and stay in good health, reader. And remember that forgetting yourself in a story can be one of the most pleasurable and okay things to do in times like these. I’ll see you in May!

It’s Time For A Break

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So, this is the second Thursday in a row I miss my weekly blog post. It really isn’t great, I know. I’m my own biggest disappointment – and I think I need to take a break from blog writing.

I have my reasons. Let me share them with you.

First (and most important) of all, February was a writing disaster. After a prolific January with 26,000+ words, I managed to scrape together 5,000 words during February – and that was mostly from blog posts. On the fiction side of things, nothing much happened.

It probably had to do with the fact that we flew from the other side of the world back to Finland and have after that been living with either my or my partner’s parents (and, being 25 and living on my own since I was 19, this is an… interesting change). I just feel deflated from being a guest all the time and never really finding the right place for writing.

But it also had to do with the fact that writing didn’t give me that happy, energetic feeling it usually does. First, I was just tired.  But then I realized it wasn’t just a lack of physical energy I was feeling – I was feeling unmotivated about writing overall, and still am because lately, writing hasn’t felt meaningful and it hasn’t given me that fun, energetic feeling it usually does.

The second reason is that I’m trying to find a job – and it’s frigging hard.

Most of the places I’ve sent my application to, I have had less than one percent chance of getting the place. There are 120+ applicants for one position – and I’m not the only one who has recently graduated and is looking for a job. I know I have value, I’m quite sure I’m looking for the right kind of jobs, but the competition’s really rough and I wonder how I’ll stand out of the crowd.

In addition to this, actively looking for jobs is quite stressful, whether it’s writing or making a video application. Especially, when you keep waiting for a call or an email but rarely get one – the amount of time and energy invested in looking for a job is a job in itself. And because finding a job is one of my first priorities at the moment, it’s time and energy away from writing.

The third reason why I think it’s time to take a break is that I very recently found out my grandmother has cancer and only has days or weeks left of her life. It’s a lot to handle, especially after last summer when my grandfather and a close relative passed away only one week a part. I’m just kind of tired of dealing with death, and really sad for my grandmother.

The thing is, this blog means a great deal to me, and that is why I want to announce it nice and clean that I’m taking a break from the blog for March.

I am simply letting myself to not write, to not update, to not obsess about Thursdays being the blog post day. By doing this, I hope a break will let my mind rest and my creativity and motivation to find strength again so that when I come back, I can honestly be proud of my content on this blog.

Hopefully, March will be the month when I find a job so that I can get an apartment so that I can stop living with parents. I also hope that during March I will find passion for writing again, that it will get easier to keep working on my current writing projects and that the stress around writing would ease a little bit.

And when April comes, I hope to return to this blog and get back to my traditional posting schedule. I’ll let you know how I’m doing – but so far, I wish you a great March and I’ll see you in April, dear reader!