The Conviction, The Passion

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”You would make a good secretary with those organization skills.”

”The way you talk about things, you could be a politician.”

”You have such a nice voice, you should do radio!”

I consider myself lucky for having almost always known that I wanted to become a writer (fun fact: before landing on that profession I considered becoming a trainer of either dolphins or lynx). Although that Dream of Becoming a Writer has shifted many times because of the thought that I could become something else as well, interest in writing has helped me make various decisions.

Writing has always been the number one way to express myself. Whether it’s been private journals, blogs (that are long-gone), fan fiction or NaNoWriMos, it has always been about putting down words on a piece of paper, a notebook or a Word-document. I have never found similar pleasure in drawing, painting, singing or acting. (Actually, I considered myself being pretty bad at the other creative outlets for a long time)

But why isn’t it enough for me to just write on my free time, why not keep it as a hobby? Why do I insist on this journey of becoming a published author, of becoming a full-time writer?

It’s because this is the only thing I can imagine myself doing for the rest of my life.

Yes, I have great organizational skills and I can talk about different subjects in a neutral way if I want to. And I do have a nice voice! But those ’good qualities’ are just good qualities. Simply because I’m good at something doesn’t mean I want to make a profession out of it and do it for the rest of my life. None of the professions listed in the beginning offer the same kind of challenges or give the kind of fulfillment writing gives to me.

Linking together words that create sentences and meaning – that is my passion. It’s what I get excited about and what I think about a great deal during the day. Writing, whether it’s this blog or Yellow Tails or the book that comes after that, is also something I’m willing to live for, commit to and to sacrifice things for even if it doesn’t feel like the best damn thing all the time.

(Because let’s be honest: writing is a rollercoaster ride with highs and lows and some days it just feels like I don’t even like writing. But those moments last only for a short while and tend to happen when I’m not writing. When I get to writing part, putting down words feels awesome again)

But I do like writing. More than that, I love it. It’s my creative outlet, the most fulfilling way for me to express myself and my thought-processes. And it really is the only thing I can see myself doing when I’m fifty or sixty-seven, even when I’m seventy-three years old.

And those other things I’m good at, what am I going to do with them? Will I let them go un-pursued, let my great organizational skills and nice radio voice gather dust in the closet of great qualities? No, I won’t. Instead, I’ll make them into my hobbies.

I hope you get to spend your Tuesday doing the thing that is both your passion and your conviction. I sure will spend mine doing exactly that.

 

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